Actual conversation

Verizon lady: Sir, you are spending a lot of money on texting - if you go with a $5 monthly text plan with Verizon Wireless, you could have unlimited texting. Let me just pull up your account here ...

ME: I don't spend that much on texting.

VL: I'm looking at your account now. It seems you have been texting a lot over the last three months ... now if I look at the 5182 number (ed's note: That's Marcy's line) ...

ME: Yes, but over the four-year lifetime of my business with Verizon, you'll see that I actually spend far less than $5 a month for texting.

VL: ... and just in June, you could have saved yourself money ...

ME: Right, but again, if you look at my whole history with your company, you'll see I don't spend $5 a month for texting.

VL: I don't have access to that information, sir. I only have the last three months.

ME: Yes, but as a salesperson who just cold-called me, you should have access to that information. You should be equipped to discuss a person's full account, and see that in light of the years of service I paid for, I rarely use texts except in the summer, and that amount does not work out to $5 a month.

VL: Sir, if you already have this down to a science ...

ME: It's not science. It's very simple math. Two months out of the year, my wife and I have to text a lot to make plans with people out of state. Can you tell me if those charges I accrue would amount to $60?

VL: We don't offer a $60 plan, sir, just $5 a month that may save you money.

ME: $60 is $5 a month for a year. If you can tell me that my texting for a year is more than $60, I will join the plan.

(PAUSE)

VL: Sir, we offer a $5 monthly texting plan that does not affect your contract. So even if you wanted to do it for a month or two during the summer, it may save you money.

ME: What if it doesn't?

(PAUSE)

VL: If you'd like to think it over, you may call our toll-free line anytime at 888 ... (ed's note: She went by the number so fast, even if I was going to write it down I couldn't). Thank you, and have a great day.

BM: Thank you. You too.

Please pardon the mess

The Daily Blurb, if you haven't noticed already, is undergoing some changes. 

Please pardon its appearance while doctors work on a cure.

As always, your patronage is greatly appreciated. 

- The Management

Swine flu and you.

Here's my one, only, prevailing thought about the swine flu: 

It's overrated.

I mean, remember SARS?

The emptiness I feel when you're not around

You know that feeling when the Olympics end and you're watching the final ceremonies and you're still watching all the athletes who two weeks prior you had never heard of? And you saw what they did and you start thinking, "If only I applied myself, maybe I could jump plastic sticks like that guy?" And you can't wait for the next time when you can watch  it again and see what new records are broken, and who makes it to the end of the race and who has a new fashionable soul patch?

The BufBloPoFo is like that, only I'm in the race, too. And in a way I feel like we all won, because here we are at the end of two weeks and we're all standing around looking at each other saying, "Hm," and we kind of don't know what we are going to do with ourselves. 

ME? I'm going to write my children's book in the next year. I'm going to lose another 20 pounds (I'm at 214 right now - down from 225 in January). I'm going to learn a new skill. I'm going to promise a lot of things right now so by next year's PoFo when I'm asked to look at my post from a year ago and update everyone, I'll already have some things to talk about.

Peace out, PoFo friends. Kick ass and take names in the coming year. 

One year later ...

A year ago, I blogged about all the random Star Ward references I encountered recently.

Yes, I spelled Star Wars wrong. But admit it - you got a chuckle out of reading Star Ward.

Anyhoo, that's a fun exercise so let's try it again. Here are all the references to Star Wars(d) I've encountered in the past 48 hours:

1) A few minutes ago I came across this photo in Marcy's girly exercise magazine. That's Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy with some random urchins.

2) While in a meeting about my newspaper's Patriots Day guide, someone mentioned traitors in our impromptu talk about American history. I was forced to offer, "He is part of the rebel alliance and a traitor." The great thing about being in a room full of journalists is, you can say that and people know what you're talking about.

3) I chose the new Clone Wars CGI movie on our Blockbuster list.

I need a life.