Ten Truisms

1. No matter how much cabinet space you have, spatulas are difficult to hide away.
2. Every time your mom says, "I'm cutting back on Christmas this year," be prepared to haul twice as much stuff back home with you after the holidays.
3. Marriage sucks sometimes. This, obviously, I cannot say first-hand. But my 16-year-old future cousin-in-law offered that as a toast during our engagement/Christmas party thrown by her family last weekend. However, as all things do, on occasion, suck, I must say that's a broad enough statement to stick by. To wit: Rolling over on Sunday morning after dreaming of flying to a magical castle made of prime numbers, you are faced with a wall of stench billowing from your betrothed's open maw, only to have your eyebrows and eyelashes curled at the reek as you rouse yourself. Now THAT sucks.
4. Everything is better with cheese. Likewise, every recipe, no matter how botched, can in some way be saved by cheese.
5. Cats can get comfortable anywhere.
6. Mathematicians are a dime a dozen. Writers are diamonds in the rough. And tax accountants are the square root of beige.
7. When asked, a person would rather not know what's in his/her hot dog.
8. A man's salary is directly proportional to the amount of shame he is willing to bury.
9. Television re-enactments of crimes are always better lit than the actual crimes committed.
10. A person who laughs is always rich. A person who is rich rarely laughs.