BOSTON, Mass. - A rogue team of special ops mercenaries was credited by the White House today with ending the three-day carnage that ensued when a North Shore nuclear plant exploded, spraying radioactive waste throughout a five-mile radius and causing incidents of gigantism in small, woodland rodents.The giant animals went on a killing spree through much of the northern half of Middlesex County, tearing up homes and grocery stores specifically.
A statement from the White House this morning said that a team of ex-special forces led by G.I. Bill recipient Sgt. Joseph Curtis and Sgt. Conrad S. Hauser dispatched from Hanscom Air Force Base in Lincoln just before 4 p.m. Tuesday. Within 16 hours the team, which included an ex-pro wrestler named Sgt. Slaughter and a blind ninja, killed or captured 14 squirrels, bunnies, and one 17-foot-long alligator. The alligator mat have just been in the sewers and not actually involved in the nuclear plant explosion, according to the White House.
More on this story as it develops.
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