Jon Hamm's John Ham

If you haven't seen Saturday Night Live in a while, you don't know what you're missing.

Stunt bug.

Marcy and I traveled to the wondrous Verizon store recently to sign a two-year contract and hook ourselves up with new phones.

She went for a sleek, silver model while I went for a thin black Motorola number.

Anyhoo, not realizing I could upload my old photos to my new phone, the event was an opportunity to dump off all the photos I've been saving for blog posts.

So check back over the next few weeks for a look at Bryan's life in the last few years, as told through pictures.

First up: Stunt bug.

I found this little guy on my car one morning before I went to work. I tried blowing on him to get him off, but he wouldn't budge. So I got in my car and drove off, thinking he'd fly away eventually.

This photo was taken after I arrived at work. My office is a 15-minute drive from my home, reaching a top speed of 35 mph.

He is the Chuck Norris of kaydids.

No one wants the Bush

In New Hampshire, a dirty race is on for the U.S. Senate. In one corner, John Sunununununu, stalwart Republican and generally pasty white guy.

In the other corner, Mean Jeanne Shaheen, a former governor and mastermind of John Kerry's presidential run in 2004.

We in Boston get the political ads from both campaigns. That's gotta be one heck of an advertising budget, considering New Hampshire has its own local media market in addition to the ones around Boston.

I've been watching the evolution of their political ads for some time, but I've noticed something lately that made me say, "Great Gipper, wouldja look at that!"

No, neither Sunununununununununu nor Jeanne The Machine Shaheen has really made an effective platform known to me, the curious but ultimately irrelevant out-of-district voter.

I refer, of course, to the almost Kryptonian nature with which they treat the Man That Would Be Bush.

Here's what I mean. First, the anti-Sununununununununununununnunununununu ad:

Next, the stylings of the anti- Lean Green Bean Jeanne Shaheen ad:

So if I was a voter in the district they cover (Thank God I'm not), I would be led to understand that both candidates have voted and paled around with Dubya. And that's a BAD THING. Right?

An aside: Who are people going to vote for?

To answer this question I went to the American Research Group, a thinktank that sounds respectable.

This group has Spleen Sheen Jeanne Shaheen running away with this race, at least as of Oct. 6, with 52 percent of the vote!!!!.

But as for ARG, further research indicates that no, unfortunately, it is NOT respectable.

Or, really, accurate.

The point is, both candidates point to each other as a failure in elected office, then compare their records to another failure in office.

Whether you vote for Sununununununnununununununununununununununnunununununununununununununununununununununununununununu or Jeanne OxyClean Ben Vereen Shaheen, I guess you're really just voting for George Bush to be your next Senator in New Hampshire.

Is it too late to write in Ralph Nader?

Marooned in Harrrrrvarrrrd Square

Yesterday, pirates Mad Eye Marge and Sweaty Jack descended upon Harvard Square to hand out flyers for the Costume Company in Arrrrrrlington.

A passenger on Boston's subway system was able to get this footage of the swabs as they made their way to Harvard Square.

I am a rock god, and not just in my head this time

I have discovered the wonders of Guitar Hero.
I've counted many of you as friends over the years, but alas, I have to say goodbye as my free time will now be spent on a fictional stage in a fictional band (Funkenstein, in case you wanted to know) with a molded piece of plastic serving as my instrument.

I've resisted these long years, but now the Guitar Hero has taken over.

I hope to find time to maintain this here blog, but we'll see what happens.

The space time continuum has broken

I'm happy that Sarah Palin in her debate said government should get out of people's way. It should be made smaller. Hands off!

In fact, that's true to a lot of the tenets of the GOP.

So, um... why does the government want to own banks?

I love you Tom Brokaw.

Tom Brokaw just told me I am not under the same constraints as the saps sitting at tonight's presidential debate. I felt good about that. Nobody to tell me I can't drink and shout at Tom Brokaw.

And now, a blow-by-blow of the Oct. 7, 2008 presidential debate:

9:14 p.m.: Cyndi Lauper asks the candidates a question.

9:25: Tom brokaw for the 14th time reminded McCain and Obama about time restraints.

9:28: finished dinner.

9:29: Joe Sixpack announces "I don't know what earmarks means."

9:33: Brokaw talks about being drunk. I really like this guy.

9:38: Obama panders to AAA lobbyists by announcing the Straight Talk Express lost a wheel.

9:42: Oh snap! Another Brokaw bitch-slap about sticking to the rules! "I'll stick by my end of the bargain .." BRILLIANT!

9:52: Someone leaves an anonymous comment on this here post that sums up voter apathy: "Nobody cares."

9:56: Obama says "fundamental" a record amount of times in a 45-second time span (four, I think.)

9:59: McCain makes a bad joke about a fine. I, in turn, make a fine bad joke:
A man walks into a bar. He takes a sip from his beer and a voice says," MM, baby - you sure are good-lookin'." The man looks around, but doesn't see anyone. He asks the bar tender, "Hey bar tender - did you hear that?" The bartender says," That's the peanuts. They're complimentary."

10:01: The cat enters the room to eat a snack.

10:04: An observation: Brokaw and McCain have similar ties on. And the lady in the teal sweater keeps smiling and nodding. I don't know what section she's in.

10:10: Obama wants to extend non-military aid to Pakistan. Says "We will kill Bin Laden."

10:11: McCain begins response with his hero is Teddy Roosevelt. He began his last response with "My hero is Ronald Regan."

10:12: We debate follow-ups; Brokaw admits "I'm just hired help."

10:14: McCain responds to Obama; says he knows how to get to Bin Laden. So to paraphrase Keith Olbermann: If he knows how to get Bin Laden, why isn't he sharing that information with the government now?

10:19: Marcy observes that John McCain holds his mic like an ice cream cone. "MMM .. delicious microphone."

10:21: McCain talks intelligently about Russia. If only this country weren't stretched so thin across this tiny planet ...

10:23: Obama finds yet another way to tie in energy to his response; this time about Russia.

10:24: McCain ALSO ties energy in to a response about Russia?

10:25: Telly Savalas is back from the dead. He's sitting behind the guy in the pink shirt that just asked McCain a question.

10:30: Best question of the night: "What don't you know and how will you learn it?"

10:32: McCain actually answers that question. Sort of. "What I don't know is what the unexpected will be." Obama just gave a speech.

10:34: Brokaw can't read his script because the candidates stood in front of it. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

G'night everybuddy.

Hi. I'm back.

Look, no long explanations about why I've been away. Just know that I still love you, and the Blurb is Back.