Actual conversation

Verizon lady: Sir, you are spending a lot of money on texting - if you go with a $5 monthly text plan with Verizon Wireless, you could have unlimited texting. Let me just pull up your account here ...

ME: I don't spend that much on texting.

VL: I'm looking at your account now. It seems you have been texting a lot over the last three months ... now if I look at the 5182 number (ed's note: That's Marcy's line) ...

ME: Yes, but over the four-year lifetime of my business with Verizon, you'll see that I actually spend far less than $5 a month for texting.

VL: ... and just in June, you could have saved yourself money ...

ME: Right, but again, if you look at my whole history with your company, you'll see I don't spend $5 a month for texting.

VL: I don't have access to that information, sir. I only have the last three months.

ME: Yes, but as a salesperson who just cold-called me, you should have access to that information. You should be equipped to discuss a person's full account, and see that in light of the years of service I paid for, I rarely use texts except in the summer, and that amount does not work out to $5 a month.

VL: Sir, if you already have this down to a science ...

ME: It's not science. It's very simple math. Two months out of the year, my wife and I have to text a lot to make plans with people out of state. Can you tell me if those charges I accrue would amount to $60?

VL: We don't offer a $60 plan, sir, just $5 a month that may save you money.

ME: $60 is $5 a month for a year. If you can tell me that my texting for a year is more than $60, I will join the plan.

(PAUSE)

VL: Sir, we offer a $5 monthly texting plan that does not affect your contract. So even if you wanted to do it for a month or two during the summer, it may save you money.

ME: What if it doesn't?

(PAUSE)

VL: If you'd like to think it over, you may call our toll-free line anytime at 888 ... (ed's note: She went by the number so fast, even if I was going to write it down I couldn't). Thank you, and have a great day.

BM: Thank you. You too.