Things video games have taught me

• If a door's locked, return to it later. In general, things that seem impossible to accomplish can be overcome if you consider the problem, and apply hard work, when you leave it alone for a while.
• The instruction manual is your friend. Most of the time, reading the directions now may help you with a key ingredient to success. Maybe not now, maybe not on your first or second life, but some time, some day, the manual will come in handy.
• The larger the food, the more energy restored. The opposite seems to be true on Thanksgiving though.
• I can double-jump in mid-air. Usually, this helps me cross large chasms, especially when running around in spooky castles or spaceships.
• Weapons can be found anywhere, but the ones found in treasure chests are harder to find in stores. Stinkin' second amendment.
• Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, A, B, Select, Start. This will always help in a jam, and has helped me (in no particular order) get out of a Spanish test in 10th grade, evade a police cruiser, remember the combination to the lock on our apartment storage locker, sharpen a pencil, and create my recipe for chili.
• Zombies make up the rules as they go along. It's always best to identify which type of zombie you're encountering before you dispatch of it. Some zombies are allergic to sunlight. Some are cyborgs. Some die when you remove their heads. Some don't.
• In a street fight, chains deal exactly as much damage as knives. So really, it just comes down to personal preference. If you can throw the chain, then bully for you.
• Conscription. Constitution. Ocarina. And many other words I otherwise would not know the meaning of if it weren't for the character stat menu screen.
• There are two types of old men. On the one hand, there is the doddering old tinkerer who is meant to add comic relief to my otherwise serious quest for a princess, artifact, or power source. The other will tell me a story about a legend from long ago that no one but me will take seriously. Then to everyone else's surprise, his story checks out. In either case they have white flowing hair.