Dorm daze

My freshman year, my college gave my roommate and I (Keep in mind the word GAVE. as in, FREE) each a new computer, free Internet, and all-new furniture. In return we had to operate as a "model room" to show off the new dorm furnishings they planned to purchase for when these prospective doe-eyed pre-frosh were starting their college careers.

The funny thing was, we didn't live up to our end of the bargain. One morning I answered the door in my underwear, eyelids firmly glued in place by hangover-induced eye gunk. A half dozen parents awkwardly gawked back at me. The sophomore giving the tour blinked like you see in the cartoons - her eyes made that "Doink ... doinkdoink ... doink" noise as she searched for an excuse to turn around and show her tour the next room.

We did even more damage than that, I think. See, our free computers were set up right next to each other. So we had this contest to see how much free junk we could find on the Internet and have it delivered to our dorm.

The following year (after my life-changing stint in the Merchant Marines) I met the guy who took the room after us. He was still getting packets of barbecue sauce samples sent to his address.

I can only imagine the amounts of Spam and viruses those poor computers took on onaccounta me.