- If a door's locked, return to it later. In general, things that seem impossible to accomplish can be overcome if you consider the problem, and apply hard work, when you leave it alone for a while.
- The instruction manual is your friend. Most of the time, reading the directions now may help you with a key ingredient to success. Maybe not now, maybe not on your first or second life, but some time, some day, the manual will come in handy.
- The larger the food, the more energy restored. The opposite seems to be true on Thanksgiving though.
- I can double-jump in mid-air. Usually, this helps me cross large chasms, especially when running around in spooky castles or spaceships.
- Weapons can be found anywhere, but the ones found in treasure chests are harder to find in stores. Stinkin' second amendment.
- Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, A, B, Select, Start. This will always help in a jam, and has helped me (in no particular order) get out of a Spanish test in 10th grade, evade a police cruiser, remember the combination to the lock on our apartment storage locker, sharpen a pencil, and create my recipe for chili.
- Zombies make up the rules as they go along. It's always best to identify which type of zombie you're encountering before you dispatch of it. Some zombies are allergic to sunlight. Some are cyborgs. Some die when you remove their heads. Some don't.
- In a street fight, chains deal exactly as much damage as knives. So really, it just comes down to personal preference. If you can throw the chain, then bully for you.
- Conscription. Constitution. Ocarina. And many other words I otherwise would not know the meaning of if it weren't for the character stat menu screen.
- There are two types of old men. On the one hand, there is the doddering old tinkerer who is meant to add comic relief to my otherwise serious quest for a princess, artifact, or power source. The other will tell me a story about a legend from long ago that no one but me will take seriously. Then to everyone else's surprise, his story checks out. In either case they have white flowing hair.
November 25, 2008
Things video games have taught me
November 19, 2008
November 13, 2008
I don't know much about it, but I love it.
November 8, 2008
Third decade starting ... now.
November 1, 2008
I may get hit with space trash.
The world's best sauce recipe. And it's yours for free.
Times like these make a guy reflect on his life. Makes him want to give back. This morning I bought four canned goods and gave them to the Boy Scouts outside the grocery store. I had to - they had me at knifepoint and said if I didn't bring back peas for the Food Pantry, they'd find where I live. The short one was real mean.
Anyhoo, in the spirit of birthday giving, I've decided to give back to the community. By that, I mean the community of faithful Blurb readers who've stuck with me all these years.
At about this time in 2006, I told you of a traditional Irish meal I was serving to some guests. Well, the time has come to share that recipe with you, free of charge, as I listen to some traditional Irish music on my couch. That would be Death Magnetic, the new Metallica album.
WHAT YOU'LL NEED
MEATBALLS:
1/4 cup seasoned bread crumbs
1 lb. ground beef
1 lb. italian sausage (more if you want to add in a few sausages on their own)
1 tsp garlic powder
Dash of black pepper
SAUCE:
2 12 oz. cans of canned puree
2 12 oz. cans of crushed tomatoes
olive oil
4-6 cloves garlic
1 large onion
1 tbsp olive oil
2 tbsp basil
2 tbsp oregano
4 tbsp parsely
1 tsp salt
1 tsp sugar
1 bay leaf
HOW YOU'LL COOK IT
Combine the ground beef and 1 lb. of sausage (discard the skins). Add in garlic powder and sprinkle in pepper. As you combine the meat, gradually add the bread crumbs. Take some of the mixture and roll into meatballs about 1 and a half inches thick. Should make about 15-20.
In a large skillet on medium heat, brown the meatballs on three sides, leaving one side slightly undercooked. If using sausage, brown them on all side in the same manner.
Leave meatballs on a plate covered in paper towel to dry. Set aside.
In a large pot, heat olive oil on medium heat. Add onions, saute until brown (season with some salt and pepper). Add garlic, continue cooking for another minute.
Gradually stir in puree, then crushed tomatoes, then puree, then crushed tomatoes. Add salt, sugar, and spices.
When sauce comes to a boil, add meatballs (and sausage if you've got it). Reduce heat to low.
Cook for 3 1/2 to 4 hours, stirring occasionally. If using particularly fatty beef, you may need to skim fat as it rises to the top.
Serve with pasta and garlic bread. Add a salad beforehand, and for dessert, a parfait. Everyone loves a parfait.
My modeling days
October 27, 2008
Jon Hamm's John Ham
October 25, 2008
Stunt bug.
I found this little guy on my car one morning before I went to work. I tried blowing on him to get him off, but he wouldn't budge. So I got in my car and drove off, thinking he'd fly away eventually.
October 21, 2008
No one wants the Bush
October 12, 2008
Marooned in Harrrrrvarrrrd Square
A passenger on Boston's subway system was able to get this footage of the swabs as they made their way to Harvard Square.
October 10, 2008
I am a rock god, and not just in my head this time
I have discovered the wonders of Guitar Hero.
I've counted many of you as friends over the years, but alas, I have to say goodbye as my free time will now be spent on a fictional stage in a fictional band (Funkenstein, in case you wanted to know) with a molded piece of plastic serving as my instrument.
I've resisted these long years, but now the Guitar Hero has taken over.
I hope to find time to maintain this here blog, but we'll see what happens.
October 9, 2008
The space time continuum has broken
In fact, that's true to a lot of the tenets of the GOP.
So, um... why does the government want to own banks?
October 7, 2008
I love you Tom Brokaw.
And now, a blow-by-blow of the Oct. 7, 2008 presidential debate:
9:14 p.m.: Cyndi Lauper asks the candidates a question.
9:25: Tom brokaw for the 14th time reminded McCain and Obama about time restraints.
9:28: finished dinner.
9:29: Joe Sixpack announces "I don't know what earmarks means."
9:33: Brokaw talks about being drunk. I really like this guy.
9:38: Obama panders to AAA lobbyists by announcing the Straight Talk Express lost a wheel.
9:42: Oh snap! Another Brokaw bitch-slap about sticking to the rules! "I'll stick by my end of the bargain .." BRILLIANT!
9:52: Someone leaves an anonymous comment on this here post that sums up voter apathy: "Nobody cares."
9:56: Obama says "fundamental" a record amount of times in a 45-second time span (four, I think.)
9:59: McCain makes a bad joke about a fine. I, in turn, make a fine bad joke:
A man walks into a bar. He takes a sip from his beer and a voice says," MM, baby - you sure are good-lookin'." The man looks around, but doesn't see anyone. He asks the bar tender, "Hey bar tender - did you hear that?" The bartender says," That's the peanuts. They're complimentary."
10:01: The cat enters the room to eat a snack.
10:04: An observation: Brokaw and McCain have similar ties on. And the lady in the teal sweater keeps smiling and nodding. I don't know what section she's in.
10:10: Obama wants to extend non-military aid to Pakistan. Says "We will kill Bin Laden."
10:11: McCain begins response with his hero is Teddy Roosevelt. He began his last response with "My hero is Ronald Regan."
10:12: We debate follow-ups; Brokaw admits "I'm just hired help."
10:14: McCain responds to Obama; says he knows how to get to Bin Laden. So to paraphrase Keith Olbermann: If he knows how to get Bin Laden, why isn't he sharing that information with the government now?
10:19: Marcy observes that John McCain holds his mic like an ice cream cone. "MMM .. delicious microphone."
10:21: McCain talks intelligently about Russia. If only this country weren't stretched so thin across this tiny planet ...
10:23: Obama finds yet another way to tie in energy to his response; this time about Russia.
10:24: McCain ALSO ties energy in to a response about Russia?
10:25: Telly Savalas is back from the dead. He's sitting behind the guy in the pink shirt that just asked McCain a question.
10:30: Best question of the night: "What don't you know and how will you learn it?"
10:32: McCain actually answers that question. Sort of. "What I don't know is what the unexpected will be." Obama just gave a speech.
10:34: Brokaw can't read his script because the candidates stood in front of it. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
G'night everybuddy.
Hi. I'm back.
August 5, 2008
I have seen the light
July 29, 2008
Without a hitch.
July 21, 2008
Tim.
July 13, 2008
Politics of grilling
July 1, 2008
June 30, 2008
Believe the hype.
In the interest of full disclosure, this is the text of an e-mail I sent to my friend Joey C. after seeing Wall E last night. Joe and I talked about the sick reviews it was getting over the weekend, so I sent him my thoughts this morning.
Wall-E is all that.
I stop short of saying, "and more," because I thought the ending tied everything together TOO neatly.
But the story itself is amazing, as is the animation. It's got everything you'd want in a great movie, and I guess I didn't realize the underlying story at the center of it, which I won't spoil if you haven't seen it yet.
I love that no trailer or commerical has revealed anyhting past the first 20 minutes of the movie. I love that there is just one story arc, but deftly explored on two levels. And Ben Burtt is the man.
It officially has the coolest ending-credit sequence of any movie ever made (Yes, it trumps The Incrediibles and the Return of the King credits), with a kickass song by Peter Gabriel that actually relates to the movie's plot. Expect many a capella groups to emulate it in the coming years.
June 28, 2008
Albuquerque
June 25, 2008
Shiv? Check. Bazooka? Check. Half-baked plan? Check.
A Salem, N.H., man has been charged with trying to rob three stores in 30 minutes, and in one case, a clerk thought he was armed with a bazooka, police said.
Police said Steven Conde, 28, tried to rob a Lawrence store Tuesday afternoon by ordering a clerk to put money into a plastic bag, but he left with nothing.
At a second location, police said, he entered the store with what employees thought was an intimidating weapon.
"He came in through the door with a plastic bag over his head and had two holes cut in it, and he had, like, a bazooka and he tried to assault us," store owner Eduvigis Ortega said.
June 15, 2008
Marcy SMASH!!!
June 14, 2008
June 4, 2008
Oh my GOD I love Public Access
June 3, 2008
Something to fill space
There HAS to be more in life, right? So here's a blog post worthy of blog posting.
My mom is coming up from Buffalo this weekend, driving herself, my grandmother, and my aunt from London.
Wait a minute - that sentence is wrong. They are not driving from London across the Atlantic to Boston. That would require a Duck Boat and a lot of gas.
Instead, I meant to say my aunt, who is from London, will be visiting along with my mom and grandmother.
Mom asked if I needed anything from Buffalo. Here's the shopping list I gave her:
June 1, 2008
A rundown of LA
May 22, 2008
REVIEW: City of Ember
This fall, you'll see posters and signs for City of Ember, aND IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE TRAILER YET YOU SHOULD SERIOUSLY CHECK IT OUT. IF FOR NOTHING ELSE, BILL MURRAY.
May 15, 2008
Giant squirrel infestation
The giant animals went on a killing spree through much of the northern half of Middlesex County, tearing up homes and grocery stores specifically.
A statement from the White House this morning said that a team of ex-special forces led by G.I. Bill recipient Sgt. Joseph Curtis and Sgt. Conrad S. Hauser dispatched from Hanscom Air Force Base in Lincoln just before 4 p.m. Tuesday. Within 16 hours the team, which included an ex-pro wrestler named Sgt. Slaughter and a blind ninja, killed or captured 14 squirrels, bunnies, and one 17-foot-long alligator. The alligator mat have just been in the sewers and not actually involved in the nuclear plant explosion, according to the White House.
More on this story as it develops.
May 6, 2008
Surprise, life.
"Who's she?" You might ask. Ah, friends, 'tis a good day when you jar someone out of their routine and give them something to think of all day. It's why I'm in the business I'm in. That, and I hate money. I hate having it, or looking at it, and I'd rather not have any lying around when bills come because then I'd pay them and who wants to do that? It sickens me that I've wasted so many Star Wars stamps heading to my car insurance company.
This morning there was a disgruntled man on the porch of my office. Yes, my office has a porch. He was asking another man who works in my building how to get to a certain place. Just so happens the information guy strolls up. That's me. I happened to know there was a press conference at the address he was trying to find. But to make things worse for him, that address doesn't exist yet. It's a ribbon-cutting ceremony for a business that will one day be there.
I gave him directions. But I was about 70 percent sure of where I was sending him. I don't know Lexington very well. I know where the Revolution started because I can see it from my office window. Other than that, I'm useless.
If he finds it, surprise! If he doesn't find it, uh, surprise!
I should have sent him off with a Darth Maul stamp for his trouble, but my last one went to Verizon, where I hope he opened a can of whoopass in the middle of the customer service department.
April 27, 2008
It's about the experience, people.
On Thursday the fine folks at GameStop who already held $25 of my money toward the new Mario Kart Wii game imparted to me a cryptic message: If you're coming to get the game Sunday, get here early to get your Wii Wheel.
Confused, I dumbly waggled my head up and down, jaw slackened. Sure. Get here early. Got it. I was under the impression the game came with one. Perhaps it was a limited-time only thing. Marcy and I continued with our evening, and I made a small mental note to wake up early Sunday.
Which was today. At 8:45 a.m. I was in the shower; a little later than I'd hoped because I was determined not to have a repeat of what happened with Super Mario Brawl. When THAT game came out, gamers lined up around the block to get in the store for their copies. I stupidly thought I could just call a store that day and expect them to have an extra one in stock. Stupid me.
But not with Mario Kart. Today I was prepared. Coffee percolated while I decided on whether to wear the Zelda shirt or the Ash from Army of Darkness shirt. I was reasonably sure the store opened at 10, which would give me about 45 minutes in the line to chat with fellow Kart-seekers. Were they a Zelda crowd or an Ash crowd?
In the end I decided they'd be neither. We'd likely have to talk about Super Smash Bros. Brawl. I don't have a shirt for that.
I raced through Winchester and into Burlington. In the parking lot I saw Game Stop's OPEN sign was lit up. Worse, no line. CRAP, I thought. They've already let everybody in! I really wanted that wheel now, not as a crucial piece of technology with which to play the game; I just wanted one on principal, since I understood when I paid the down payment I'd be entitled to one.
Coffee in hand, I entered GameStop. Two other customers were in the store. Wii Wheels and MarioKarts were piled up to the ceiling.
"Um ... I'd like my copy of MarioKart please," I mumbled to the clerk. "Sure," he said. "Would you like to reserve any other games today?"
"Wait. That's it? I just get my wheel and my game and I go home?"
"Yeah," GameStopDude said. "That's it."
No conversation. No waiting in line. No pageantry.
I took my plastic bag and I went home. The game sat on the coffee table until about 7:30 when Marcy and I finished chores and dinner. It was a lot of fun.
But it would have been more fun if I had to fight for it.
April 26, 2008
Ash 'n' Abe
This strange paint job was on the hood of a car in the parking lot of Marshalls Thursday.
If only Abraham Lincoln welded a chainsaw to HIS arm ... that Booth guy wouldn't have had a chance ...
"Yer DEAD, Abe! Dead I tell ya! Long live the South!!!"
"Ah, just like a Booth, Booth. Brings a gun to a chainsaw fight. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" bbzzzzzz .... BLAM .... bzzzzz AAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA "NOOOOO, Abe, WHYYYY!?!?!!"
April 24, 2008
Based on the latest presidential debates ...
April 8, 2008
Cool things of the moment
1) Not having cable. To be specific, not having channels above channel 24. There's a freedom that comes with getting id of cable, like jumping from a plane without a parachute.
2) Blockbuster Online. Hells yes. Signed up and ordered three movies Sunday. They came today. First up: Beyond the Mat.
3) Wii online. We moved the Wii from the guest room (video game room) to the living room, where it now picks up my signal for the Internet. Bought two games online for it: Super Mario Bros. and Kid Icarus. Why? Because when I was growing up my friend hogged the Nintendo every time we played these games. Now I am the master.
March 31, 2008
Jacked-up Jedi hijinks
- At an Urban Outfitters in Connecticut yesterday, I came across a Star Wars cookbook.
- On Family Guy, Stewie just froze a guy in Carbonite.
- While walking in downtown New Haven, Conn. we came across a mailbox painted like R2D2.
- I paid two bills today using the last of our Star Wars stamps which were stuck onto the reply envelopes for our wedding. Darth Vader went to car insurance; Obi Wan Kenobi has gone to the electric company.
- While visiting Ain't It Cool News I came across an ad for Spike TV advertising the whole series.
March 21, 2008
Beard Watch 2008
From this day onward, which I feel begun
March 20, 2008
BeardWatch 2008.
If you haven't seen me lately, here's what I look like.
March 18, 2008
The things you learn.
Last night I curled on the couch for much-needed rest. We went to the gym, always a bad idea after you skip it a week when you're sick.
On the History Channel there were two shows; one about beer and one about whiskey.
I learned:
An India Pale Ale is not made in India. It's a British ale that was made very hoppy so it would survive the long trip from England to India.
The Jack Daniels distillery burns its own wood to create the charcoal that it filters its whiskey through.
The most potent beer is brewed by the Sam Adams co. Called Utopias, it is 27 % alcohol.
Mexican beers Corona and Dos Equis were actually started last century by Germans and Austrians looking to make their way into the American microbrew market.
The oak barrels from the production of Jim Beam are recycled by being shipped to the Jameson distillery in Ireland where they are filled with Jameson whiskey. That whiskey is then flavored by the Jim Beam bourbon that has soaked into the barrel for the last two years.
March 17, 2008
St. Patrick the Great
I like beer 'cos it is good
I drink beer because I should
if there is a song to sing
I sing it and beer you bring
I drink beer when I am sad
'cuz the beer it makes me glad
now there's nothing left to say
so lets go drink beer
Beer is good
Beer is good
Beer is good
... and Stuff
Beer is good
Beer is good
Beer is good
let's go drink some BEER
BEER
when its warm it taste's real crappy
but cold beer will make me happy
when I throw up on the floor
I can go and drink some more
they say beer will make me dumb
it are go good with pizza
now that we have drunk some beer
lets go drive a car
Beer is good
Beer is good
Beer is good
....and stuff
Beer is good
Beer is good
Beer is good
let's go drink some BEER
Beer
uh dude.. I think you've had enough
...No
lets go drink some beer.
March 14, 2008
One year later, and beer is still good.
March 13, 2008
Hey you Democrats
When the writers get settled in ...
Woman sits on can for two years
March 12, 2008
What you don't know can't hurt me
- I'm indecisive in my personal life
- If I accidentally hit the Caps Lock, I'd rather type a long explanation about why I'm shouting rather than go and delete what I've written and retype it.
- My thighs don't rub together as much when I walk as they did in January. (I've been going to the gym).
- When I was 13 I ran a 5k with my dad. I've never in my life been able to run more than a mile. To my credit, I ran two that day. The third I cheated by climbing a berm separating the road we were running on; thereby cutting 3/4 of a mile out of the race.
- Considering I get enough of the news at work, my main news source at home is Ain't it Cool News.
- If I won a million dollars I would give $400,000 to charity. Two reasons: Help sick kids, and take less of a hit on the taxes. The other $600,000 would probably go to a college fund for my eventual kids, likely covering half of the tuition.
- I have had facial hair for the whole year so far. (Actually started the beard in November, making this the longest I've ever gone.)
- My least favorite number is 9.
- I'm a Sudoku savant.
- I call Marcy "Marge." Marge Fartski.
March 11, 2008
I bested a grizzly with my bare hands!
2. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Writing can be all three. Also, Cadbury cream eggs.
3. What sound or noise do you love? My wife's laugh, and someone saying "I'm giving you a raise"
4. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? I might try contract law
5. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
March 10, 2008
A fistful of AWESOME
Because it's pimp vs. hookers, that's why.
March 9, 2008
Sick.
My post would have been about Jim's Steak Out, wings, and Labatts.
Instead, I give you a text frowny face.
:-(
BufBloPoFo out.
March 8, 2008
The Pod.
March 7, 2008
I have this, and you don't.
March 6, 2008
O Lego, how I love thee
March 5, 2008
Hey, stoopid!
Here's today's assignment, for background.
In case you're wondering what the headline has to do with what I'm about to say, let me elaborate:
Every time I feel the need to correct someone, one of my brain genies always shouts "Hey Stoopid" in the hopes that I, too, having heard the outburst will repeat it in the same, inane manner only more loudly.
(What's a brain genie? Everyone has a blue and red brain genie. You do, too. The blue one handles inert functions of everyday activity. Breathing, heartbeat, driving to work, turning the hot water on the faucet to just the right level for the shower - all of these are relegated to the blue brain genie. The red one helps accomplish complex tasks, such as balancing a checkbook or trying to figure out the boss's move pattern on world 3-4 of Super Paper Mario. Once that pattern is memorized, however, the task shifts to the blue genie. He's single-handedly responsible for my ability to beat Goonies 2 for the NES in under an hour. No need to thank me for the explanation.)
So today's BufBloPoFo topic is about the need to correct all the idiots out there.
As such, I would like to clear up some misconceptions on chili.
I know for a fact that if you put 10 chefs in a room and gave them each a set of ingredients for chili, a pot, and a broom handle with which to stir the concoction, inevitably ONE of them (or more) would find a way to use the broom handle as an ingredient.
Because there are just too many people out there who feel good chili has to have two traits: A lot of ingredients, and a factor of +8 soupiness (Since Gary Gygax, the co-founder of Dungeons and Dragons, died yesterday, I'm making at least one reference in everything I do to D&D in his honor).
Neither is true. Chili really only needs tomatoes, beans, peppers. That's it. A good chili will add onions, a variety of peppers, and hot sauce. A great chili needs only to be made by me.
OK, I overstated that a little. But where most chilis are at a +7 or +8 soupiness factor, mine usually hover at +2. And I break my own rule here because I use somewhere between 11 and 13 ingredients, if you count the pinch of sugar and hint of lime.
Chili should be thick enough so that you can eat it with a fork, and should be easily paired with a starch. Bread or rice work great.
It should be hot enough so that it's enjoyable at first, and tasty so you want more, but then it builds and builds and all of a sudden you're crying because you're ashamed at the mess you've made of your life but also the chili is hot.
So keep it simple, stoopid, for red genie's sake.
Stealing, and we're not talking baseball
And, she included me. So rather than reinvent the wheel, kick it on over to her blog for my response to who I think would play me, Marcy, and Mike in a movie.
http://playtime-at-hazmat.blogspot.com/2008/03/casting-call.html
March 4, 2008
Banana's video
Here's one of their videos on Will Farrell's site, FunnyorDie.com.
He's the one in the pink shirt. This kind of reminds me of my bachelor party; not so much for the events that transpire but I got a distinct flashback of Banana yelling things at me.
Please spread the word and help these brothers out.
March 3, 2008
What's today? March 3?
Well, lots, if by "today" you mean my life. But that's not just mundane, that's like getting elected governor of Mundania. My apologies to Piers Anthony.
Let's see what went right for other folks.
In 1887, Helen Keller began to be taught by Anne Sullivan.
In 1931, the Star-Spangled Banner was adopted as the National Anthem.
In 1969 Apollo 9 was launched. This mission tested the lunar module that would be used in the moon landings.
In 1991 Rodney King was videotaped being beaten by police. Some would argue this would have been a day that went wrong; I say, the man is alive today, and helped shed light on an unjust system.
Plus, he has a kickass catchphrase. Say this on a day going wrong, and soon everything will feel all right:
March 2, 2008
Best dang gift I ever got.
March 1, 2008
Milk.
Did I mop up all the milk that spilled on my computer?
I mean, I think the little splash that fell on the monitor only hit the plastic, but I can't
#@&($
@$(@^&$(&@^$(&@^
#$*^&#($*^@#(*$^@#(*$^@&*^$#@&*^$..............
SYSTEM ERROR
ABORT/RETRY/SANDWICH............
What the? What the hell was that? My computer just started typ
@#^$%@^*%#
E#&($^@#(@($(@&#(*@&#*@&#
ABORT/RETRY/SANDWICH........... GIVE ME SANDWICH
February 29, 2008
February 27, 2008
Yo mo fo it's the BufBloPoFo
- It's the month of St. Patrick's Day.
- Marcy and I are traveling to Rochester the weekend before St. Patrick's Day.
- I'll be at work all day Monday, March 3 for the town election, in which literally alomst 100 people are running for office.
February 24, 2008
Are you gettin' it?
Yes Armageddon it.
February 22, 2008
Wife, cat.
February 10, 2008
Stone-cold Force Killaz
WAIT A MINUTE ...